Moving on to the Past
by RogueSenshi
Summary: Elliot Stabler's life has never been simple his job, his family, his life was always complicated. Elliot is about to be confronted by the one person in his life that was never complicated but the one he let slip away. Will he take this chance? ElliotOrig
1. Remembering and Revisiting

Hello all you readers out there. Well this is my first SVU fanfic so I am a bit nervous.

Disclaimer: SVU and the related characters and the One Six do not belong to me (darn it) the character Tamsyn however does.

Ok formalities are out of the way. I am an O/E shipper but I am also a huge fan of Elliot/OC so I went with OC for the first fic. I hope you like it and enjoy the first chapter. Oh and anything in italics is a dream sequence or memory.

"_Elliot do you think we will be friends forever?" a girl asked a preteen Elliot Stabler._

_Elliot winced but not at the girl's words; it was the wound she was treating on his arm that caused him pain._

"_Sorry, I don't mean to make it hurt," she apologized._

_Elliot smiled, "It's not your fault, and it doesn't hurt that bad. And yeah of course we will be friends forever, why would you think anything else?"_

"_I was just asking. I like to hear it confirmed every once in a while. God Elliot why do you let him do this to you? And don't make excuses for him, he has no right to hurt you like this even if he is your father!" the girl exclaimed._

"_Tamsyn please let's not fight right now and keep it down; the last thing I need is for my dad to find out I snuck you in here," Elliot pleaded._

_Tamsyn sighed but resigned, "Fine as long as you stop calling me Tamsyn, you know I'm not fond of my name."_

"_Well I would, except someone can't quite tell me what I am supposed to call you instead. Oh I know, if you like I can call you Renegade, because the lord knows you are one, I still can't believe you yelled at the principal today! You are just insane…Ren," Elliot laughed at this new nickname._

_Tamsyn seemed contemplative for a moment, "mmm….OK I think I can handle Ren, besides like you said it does kind of match me pretty well."_

_Before Elliot could answer they both heard footsteps coming closer to the door. Tamsyn quickly grabbed the first aid kit and stepped in the closet to hide. Elliot laid back on his bed to make it seem like he had been there all along, after putting his shirt back on. _

_From outside a man's voice could be heard, "Elliot! Elliot get your ass out here! Ell…"_

"Elliot!" Kathy's voice flooded his ears, "Elliot turn the damn alarm clock off I need more sleep!"

Elliot sat up in bed and looked at the offending clock on the side table. Reaching over Elliot turned the alarm off and rolled out of bed and headed towards the shower. Standing under the hot water Elliot tried to collect his thoughts. It had been so long since he had even thought about Ren and the last few weeks he had dreamt about her every night. I hurt him to have all of these memories brought back up like this. Ren had been the only person he could really trust growing up and as screwed up as it was, Ren was still the only person he knew he could fully trust. Elliot told Ren things he never even told his family, told Kathy, or ever admitted to any shrink he had been forced to see. He had let some of it out when he talked to Hendrix after he beat up Pete Breslin but he never let anyone know the whole truth about his upbringing.

Elliot came back to his senses when he realized the water he was standing in had turned cold and he turned it off. Quickly he finished his morning ritual and headed out to Manhattan to start his work day.

The second Elliot walked into the station he knew it was going to be one of those days. Olivia saw him as he went to sit at his desk and halted his movements.

"No time rest El; we got a scene to get to. Central Park, a body of a young man was found, naked and bloody," Olivia informed her partner.

With only a nod Elliot fetched his coat and the keys to the sedan and headed off to the scene. Once they reached the park they were met by the familiar sight of new reporters and camera men that seemed to follow every dead body, especially those found in open areas. Fighting through the crowd the two detectives finally made it to the actual scene and the body even bloodier than they had thought given the description they had both received.

Melinda looked up from her crouched position, "Before you ask, I don't know what killed him yet, and yes fluids are present so this one is yours."

"This is one of those times when you realize just how long you have worked with a person," Elliot stated without emphasis.

Olivia shot him a look, "Tell me about it. CSU found anything particularly relevant yet? Do we even have a name?"

Melinda shook her head, "Nope to both. No trash, no prints and no wallet to speak of. All we have right now is him and the fluids inside of him."

"Right. Let us know what you find out. Guess we better canvas and see if anyone knows anything. Maybe some of the local homeless know what happened," Olivia suggested to Elliot's disinterested shrug.

"You want to tell me what's going on or are you just going to keep being an ass?" Olivia inquired from her desk.

Elliot's head snapped up, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you being so quiet, not involving yourself in the case. You haven't said more than two words together in a sentence all day. And when you do speak you aren't exactly being nice," Olivia lectured.

Elliot felt a flash of anger but he didn't have the energy to sustain it, "I…I'm sorry. I haven't been sleeping well, I've been having weird dreams, and Kathy and I haven't been on the best terms. I'm cranky from work and she is cranky from being six months pregnant. It doesn't help that we are still divorced and just recently moved back in together after a couple of years apart."

Olivia nodded, "Yeah I guess not. Are you guys going to get married again?"

Before Elliot could answer the topic of their conversation walked into the squad room, obviously search for her ex-husband. Elliot shot up out of his seat and walked over to meet her.

"Kathy is everything ok? Is the baby ok?" Elliot asked in a rush.

"Yes the baby is ok. I have just been thinking about things the last few weeks and I think we really need to talk," Kathy stated.

Elliot nodded and led her to the interview room, "What's up?"

"I'm just going to get right to the point. Have you been having dreams about Tamsyn?" Kathy asked and at Elliot's shocked look she explained, "Elliot you talk in your sleep and the last few weeks you have been saying her name at night."

"Well yeah I guess I must have if I have been saying her name, but I don't remember dreaming about her," Elliot lied.

Kathy looked hurt at his answer, "Elliot please don't…"

Before she could finish Cragen opened the door, "I'm sorry to interrupt but Warner has some information for you and Olivia, she wants you two to meet her at the morgue."

Elliot nodded his understanding, "I'm sorry Kathy I have to go. I will see you and the kids when I get home."

With a kiss to her cheek and a wave Elliot left the squad and Kathy was left to her thoughts, and the knowledge that Elliot had to just lied right to her face. The thought that Elliot was thinking about his first love made her nervous. She knew that even if Elliot wouldn't admit it had Tamsyn not disappeared then he and she would have never gotten married; even though she was pregnant at the time.

As soon as Elliot and Olivia entered Melinda's office they knew she had good and bad news to offer them.

"Bout time you two got here. I have an ID on our victim but I don't think you are going to like it," Melinda revealed.

The two detectives glanced at one another, before Olivia asked, "Well who is he?"

"His name is Jensen Rames and he is an FBI agent," Melinda stated.

"FBI? You have got to be kidding me, as if we didn't have enough on our plate now one of our cases involves a fed? So much for this case being ours, the FBI will want part of this for sure," Elliot ranted.

Olivia just ignored him, "Do we know cause of death yet?"

Melinda nodded, "When I finally got him cleaned up all of the stab wounds became evident; there are a total of 37, any of which would have been fatal on their own."

"Jesus; talk about over kill," Olivia exclaimed, "Have you notified the feds yet or is that going to be our honor?"

"I called them the moment I found out who he was," Melinda confirmed, "He doesn't have any next of kin so his CO said he would send someone to identify the body and make arrangements. They didn't sound too interested in the investigation, which is first in my history of dealing with the federal government."

Elliot shook his head as he reached the door, "Oh I am positive Liv and I will walk into a squad room swarming with FBI agents. I do not have the time for this shit."

Melinda looked after the detective quizzically but Olivia just shook her head; indicating her not to ask. Olivia turned on her heel and followed her partner out with a wave to Melinda. Catching up with Elliot was a hard feat as he was almost rushing to get out of the ME's office.

"You are going to have start focusing on the job El; you are gonna start pissing people off, especially if the feds do get involved," she warned.

Elliot just shrugged his shoulders and Olivia wondered what was really going on with him that would make him act this way. She resigned herself to being her partners controller like she had so many times in her time at SVU; knowing eventually things would work themselves out as they always did.

As they drove back to the station neither detective broke the silence that surrounded them. Pulling into the garage Elliot and Olivia noticed a car that didn't belong there; a black 1967 Chevy Impala would stand out around any police precinct. Elliot had a strange feeling of familiarity but brushed it off. Pulling into the closest parking space the two detectives jumped out and headed up via the elevator. The second they entered the squad room Cragen opened the door to his office.

"You two in here now," he yelled over the commotion.

Quietly the two walked towards the office, closing the door as they walked in. The first thing Olivia noticed was the woman looking at the Captains medals with her back to them; the second thing she noticed was the way Elliot suddenly had the "deer in the headlights" look.

After a moments silence the woman spoke without turning around, "Hello…Elliot."

If it was possible Elliot looked even more shell shocked but he finally managed to speak, "R…Ren?"

Smiling the woman turned around and Elliot came face to face with his past.

Well? What do you think? Like I said it is my first SVU fanfic so please review and let me know what you think and if I should continue. Thanks for reading.


	2. Past Troubles

Well here we are again. Thanks to the people who reviewed…I appreciate your kind words of encouragement. Well I am currently watching SVU and this has put me in the mood to update this story. Hope you like this new chapter as well. As always italics are dreams or memories. Oh and just a warning…I might make Kathy out to be a way most people don't see her…so if you really really like Kathy you might not want to read; cause I'm not a fan of her.

"Agent Rames was in my team. He was a good friend and an even better agent," Tamsyn informed the squad room full of detectives and officers, "He was also openly homosexual; which I think has something to do with his death."

Olivia spoke up, "Do you have any ideas on who our killer could be? Did Rames have a boyfriend or lover?"

Tamsyn sighed, "No to the first and yes to the second but he is also an FBI agent; and VERY closeted. Jensen and I were the only ones who knew."

Munch voiced the question everyone was thinking, "Why would he tell you if he was so closeted? Why would he trust you so much, even if you did work together?"

Cragen answered this one, "Agent Donovan was the Special Agent in Charge of their Field Office."

Tamsyn nodded, "The agent in question didn't want to keep things from his superior and told me in confidence."

"Wait, you keep skirting around saying this agents name. Are you just not going to tell us who he is? He is a possible witness at best and a possible suspect at worst. We need to talk to him," Olivia exclaimed.

"I will talk to him myself and see what he knows, if anything, and I don't like you insinuating that one of my guys would kill at all let alone one of their team mates," Tamsyn stated an edge of anger in her voice.

For the first time since seeing Tamsyn in Cragen's office Elliot snapped out of his own thoughts and took in the people around him. It took him a second to realize what it was that woke him out of his reverie; it was the familiar angry tone to his old friend's voice, a tone he had heard many times before. He quickly looked between Tamsyn and Olivia, the two most stubborn women he had ever known, and chose to take action before the situation escaladed.

"Sounds like a plan. Will you be working with us for the rest of case then?" Elliot inquired.

Olivia stared at Elliot as if he had grown a second head, "Wha…?"

"Yes I will Detective. I have to head out but I will be back in the morning to continue the investigation and I will let you know if my agent has anything probative to tell us," Tamsyn stated before heading out the door.

With her gone Olivia turned to glare at her partner, "Elliot what the hell is going on? This is OUR investigation not the FBI's; since when are you ok with them interrogating our suspects for us? Wha…Where are you going?"

Olivia's questions fell of deaf ears as Elliot raced out of the squad room and down in the direction of the garage. As the elevator doors opened into the lowest level of the building Elliot came face to face with his old friend.

Upon seeing Elliot Tamsyn smirked, "About time Detective, I expected you a whole minute ago," she raised an eyebrow when he didn't speak, "What no questions about where I've been what I've been doing? It's kind of rude not to ask that when old friends show up in your life."

"What are you doing here? And after all this time?" Elliot managed to get out.

"I was surprised when you didn't just barge into the Captains office once reaching it; I thought for sure you would have recognized my car or at least the license plate," Tamsyn offered as a reply.

Without thinking Elliot glanced over to the car and indeed he did recognize it from when they were teens and the license plate, though it was new; how could he not notice RENGIRL in capital letters across the plate when he was the one to suggest it so long ago before she could afford the personalization.

"You….you still didn't answer my questions," Elliot stammered.

Tamsyn just looked at him, taking in everything about him; it had been so long since she laid eyes on Elliot Stabler. She wished she could say the only reason she was at the 16th precinct in Manhattan was to help find the person who killed one of her agents, but she was also there to see him. It had been almost 23 years since she had seen him and it scared her how quickly her feelings for him surfaced again. He had been her best friend and first love, possibly the only man she had actually ever loved, and those feelings where very much still alive.

"DAD!"

Instantly both adults were jolted from there thoughts and the sight of one another and turned to the source of the cry. A few seconds later Elliot's 15 year old daughter launched herself into her father's arms and hugged him.

"Hey Liz. What are you doing here?" Elliot asked his youngest daughter.

"I'll see you tomorrow Detective, have a good night," and with that Tamsyn turned towards her car.

"WAIT! You can at least meet one of my kids, Liz this is Tamsyn, Tamsyn this is my youngest daughter Liz," Elliot stated.

Liz looked at Tamsyn confused, "I've never seen you before…do you work with my dad?"

"I'm FBI but yeah I will be working with SVU on a case for a while. It was nice to meet you Liz," Tamsyn almost left it at that but couldn't help causing some sort of friction in the Stabler household, "Well I do have to run but it was nice to meet you…OH and make sure to tell you mom Hello for me."

With that Tamsyn got in her car and left before any other words could be spoken.

"Dad…how does she know mom?" Liz inquired.

Ignoring his daughter's question he asked his own, "Liz what are you doing her anyway? And alone I might add."

"I had a school thing about a block away remember? Mom couldn't make it all the way out her from Queens cause she had her doctors appointment so I was supposed to come her and wait so you could take me home with you," Liz answered still confused and concerned.

Elliot nodded absent mindedly, "Right, well I think we are done for the day so I just need to go back upstairs and grab my things and then we can head home, OK?"

Without waiting for an answer Elliot turned and headed back to the elevator with his daughter following closely. After grabbing his things and saying good bye to his co-workers, his partner not returning the gesture, the two left and headed back to Queens.

The second the two of them entered the house Kathy knew something was up; Elliot greeted Kathleen and Dickie like he normally did but barely waved at her on his way to get a shower.

Before she could ask her youngest daughter how her day was the girl started talking first, "A friend of Dads from the FBI told me to tell you hello. I have never met her before but she seemed to know you. She is working a case with Dad right now."

Liz could tell she had said something bad when her mother looked at her confused, "I don't know of any friends you father has in the FBI. What was _her_ name?" Kathy asked, stressing the word HER.

"Um….oh I don't remember….but it was something pretty and kind of unique. Oh what was it?! It started with a T….Tami? No that wasn't it that's not even unique…um…" Liz thought out loud.

Before Liz could go any further with her guesses Kathy looked up alarmed, "Tamsyn?"

"YEAH! That was it, Tamsyn, I thought it was pretty. Mom are you OK? Is something wrong?" Liz asked when she noticed her mother was staring at her with a blank look on her face.

Concerned Kathleen and Dickie also moved closer to their mother but she waved them off, "No I am fine really. I just need to go talk to your father for a moment."

The three Stabler children all looked at one another in confusion as Kathy walked out of the room. Elliot himself was lost in his own thoughts and memories.

"_Ren? Ren I need to talk to you. Its important…come on open up!" a teenaged Elliot urged from outside the window he was tapping on._

_Ren rolled over on her bed and stared at her boyfriend through the window; he looked like shit. Sighing she got up and let him into her bedroom._

_Walking back to her bed she quipped, "If you are her looking for a little late night action think again buster; I have a big test tomorrow and I am not going to be a walking zombie for it." The serious look on Elliot's face stopped her joking and she noticed a slight smell of alcohol, "What's wrong El? Have you been drinking?" _

"_Yes…NO….maybe…I don't really know. I think I did something…but I'm not sure…but its bad…and I didn't know where else to go…and you are going to hate me…," Elliot ranted, tear forming in his blue eyes._

"_Ok El sit down. What happened? Was it at the party? Just try to calm down and tell me what happened. I wont hate you…I could never hate you," Ren assured him._

_Elliot took a breath and let it out slowly, "I was at the party, just hanging out with Kathy and Louis after you left. I could have sworn I wasn't drinking alcohol but I don't know, I must have been because you can smell it on me, I was just drinking whatever it was that Kathy gave me to drink, it was something really fruity tasting. I was starting to feel dizzy and that is when my memory stops," Ren knew there was more by the look on his face but waited for him, "I woke up and I wasn't where I remembered being, my head hurt and I felt sick. I realized I was on a bed somewhere and when I tried to get up there was something weighing me down…I looked over and Kathy was there with me."_

_He didn't need to go further, Ren's face told him she knew that he had woken up naked with Kathy. Unable to look at her he buried his face in his hands and fought hard to not cry. _

Pounding on the door broke Elliot from his reverie. Turning off the water he stepped out of the shower while simultaneously wrapping a towel around his waist. He knew who it was on the other side of the door and he was certain she was not going to be happy. Sighing he went to deal with Kathy, for the first time since they had moved back into together that she was still his EX-wife; and it worried him at how free that made him feel.

Well I am stopping it there. My brain has just about given up on this chapter. I hope you liked it and please review…I love to hear opinions.


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